Why it’s important to wipe out Dick Morris’ bloodline

Less than a week to go before one of the most important human traditions, within the last two hundred and fifty years or so, will engulf the American populus and call to attention nations around the globe. The fundamental aspect of our ‘democracy’ is not some utopian drive for equality or the protection of inalienable rights… simply put these are impossibilities within the context of our socio-economo-politico structure… the key to ‘feeling’ free is the ability to execute our free will and cast a ballot for the most important office on the planet. Thomas Jefferson called suffrage the “rational and peacable instrument of reform,” Alexander Hamilton wrote voting in an election is “one of the most important rights of the subject,” and John Jay (my personal favorite amongst the Revolutionary War philosopher kings) penned, “the Americans are the first people whom Heaven has favored with an opportunity of deliberating upon and choosing the forms of government under which they should live.” Needless to say the gentlemen who brought our country into existence found the matter to be of the utmost importance, almost to a point where it was viewed as a sacrament… body and blood.

There is a new rhetoric and a message and a prediction, adroitly wrapped in red holiday paper, that the conservative base has begun to push as Election Day 2012 nears. Many top party members, analysts, and of course the pundits now believe the tide has completely shifted, and that many of the young and minority voters who showed up in ’08 will not be back to participate in the Western hemisphere’s greatest triumph this Tuesday. Analysts are convinced that ‘Yes We Can’ energy and enthusiasm has waned by such a degree that there is no hope for the incumbent… and by analysts (an admittedly non-sensical term) I mean a ruthless political pollster and shock-jock author who was forced out of Clinton’s second presidential campaign because he let a prostitute listen in on a private conversation with the President of the United States… introducing the GOP’s latest bag of festering animal limbs, a Mr. Dick Morris.


Dick made the unfortunate mistake of appearing on television last night while I finished off a bowl of chili (after a bowl of other sorts) and flipped between CNN & FOX for my daily chuckle over the irreversible demise of society… on walks a blithe, unctuous eye’d pollster whose credentials were boldfaced, “Former Clinton Aide,” an obvious and vain attempt to maintain FOX’s mirage of ‘bipartisan reporting.’ The more he jiggled the less evidence I needed (at least in my head) that Dick Morris is of direct kin to The Penguin… I waited and waited for a black umbrella to twist from behind his head and an ink pool to roll down his jowels… he squawked and smiled and ended the interview with “I can’t wait to come back on and tell everyone I told you so.”

Predicting your own “I told you so moment” is like promising a girl that she’ll “have so much fun” after she turns down the initial offer to go out… you look like an even more twisted fuck than you already are. Dick does not believe in young people or minorities to show up at this election and is convinced every ‘left-leaning media’ based poll is completely off with its calculations. As a political expert and a ‘pollster,’ (a pollster? Some one who models, analyzes, interprets, predicts… i.e. creates garbage television and further inundatse the collective unconscious with bags of flaming catshit) he KNOWS that we young people are upset, upset about the economy and disillusioned, and there’s no way that we’ll make it out to the ticket booths… we’ll all probably just call in sick to work and get stoned, watching John Stewart all day in hopes of tanking the economy further. Basically Dick took 5 minutes out of my life to represent MY OWN interest group, to speak on my behalf to the free world and guarantee that I wouldn’t show up Tuesday, or any day for that matter.

I hope you the reader are just as upset as myself, and just as determined to prevent this ego-blown bag of desperation (who the fuck tries to impress a hooker?? Youre already paying for the sex Dick, she isn’t going to marry you just because you hold your pouch above your waist while she takes it from behind and Bill Clinton eggs you on over the speakerphone) from being right about anything. No representation is bad, but misrepresentation is worse. This guy insults any educated American, young old white black rich poor, who takes their vote seriously… if anything media outlets should be celebrating our right to cast a ballot and encouraging the citizenry to do so. Whether the predictions come from the left or the right, anyone willing to single out certain groups of individuals and basically insult them by saying they won’t go out and vote is about as anti-democratic as it gets…Dick wants to scare people and turn them away from their civic duties before they even wake up on Tuesday. He is a little bully on a big screen. Dick has no balls.

 All I can say is wake up and show up and don’t let assholes like this disenfranchise our great nation.


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