The American High School System: Birthplace of Synarchy

The 2012 elections have reaffirmed a personal tenet of mine, which goes something like >90% of the America’s hoi polloi are stuck and will forever be stuck with the capacities of a 16 year old. Capacities that, when closely examined, turn out to be banal, monstrous tendencies…but socially acceptable as they are based on the capitalist agenda… masturbation coupled with a complete lack of critical thinking, the mass exodus to the MIDDLE, a constant stiltedness… observing how your neighbor dresses and who they’re talking to and what kind of stuff they have and finally why you’re better than all of it… even though the two of you are true-blue the best-of-friends.

This election is another Hollywood farce that the Republican party has been casting and re-screening for years, reeling nonsense and non-sequitors at an even more ridiculous pace than the three Rovian masterminded ballot counts that preceded it (see: hanging chads, global warming, Jed Bush). America’s barely Algebra I educated public believe enough in Entertainment Tonight and women’s psychology experts (usually sexless white males) and phrenologists that the Grand Ol’ Bastards had the balls to run the two least qualified Joe Blowjobs IN AMERICAN HISTORY on their ticket (PRESIDENT = Harvard Business School is a nepotistic outpost for the uber-elite to work each other’s rods for a couple of years while they come off Skull&Bones withdrawals… Aldrich Hall waxes necrotic on its best day…on its worst, you’re dead… VICE PRESIDENT = Miami Ohio Undergrad Degree? One of my ex-girlfriends equipped with an ass to bounce Kennedy half-dollars and titties soft like a new-born’s cranium did very well in the Greek community…now she helps manage a real estate company…this is when the fire alarm goes off…at least Paul double majored, and drove the Wienermobile (triple majored?)).

Romney is the model white collar hero, the career businessman…building portfolios and crafting his wealth through responsible and patriotic means. Warren Zevon would’ve offered him a pina colada at Trader Vic’s…perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfectly crafted media-plugs… an arsenal of amorphous, jingoistic blurbs, ready and waiting to hush-hush any pro-choice socialist that might have snuck into the town hall meeting (you would think starting quarterback, but Mitty had no interest in the gridiron and instead gave his all cheerleading… but his campaign manager will tell you he owned a ‘uniform’). Ryan is the golden boy, the Catholic budget-buster, the young buck… the dude who gets all the chicks (again…not an athlete…see: uncoordinated fitness freak), batting his photogenic eyelashes, a man of soft features with an undying belief in America democracy (aka capitalism) rooted in transubstantiation and the Boy Scouts.

Leading into this Fall I was hesitant to believe the Red Army, your neighborhood think-tanking Neo-Cons, would abandon this insane notion that the president should be ‘likeable’ rather than ‘educated,’ even after the Palin debacle I witnessed four years ago. It wasn’t that the ’08 plan worked so poorly… it was that the Republicans managed to work it so well… and so long, keeping the fight so close down until the final days (when in reality five minutes after the infamous Katie Couric interview America should’ve placed Obama’s hand on a bible). Think about it…running an unknown Alaskan governor on a pair of mammary glands and a curvaceous gait in high heels (insert chauvinist comments here… I don’t give a fuck… the male sex drive isn’t retreating anytime soon and you know as well as I do the only reason for her nomination was a Vogue photo spread… oh no, no… it must have been Guilliani explaining his endorsement with, “You know why? She had to make decisions” ) with an insane ex-POW, ready to extirpate any threat to ‘American Freedom’ or ‘the fair distribution of wealth…’ and they took 46% of the general population’s vote?

Rove woke up that morning of November 6th, 2008 with his first stiffy (not even a Cialis infusion pump can help that clay-eye’d truth-looter) since collecting on his Enron interests ( Kenny Lay anyone? Top candidate for Bush’s 2000 Secretary of the Treasury?)… the smitten bastard must’ve opened up the New York Times, rubbing, and said to himself, “What? We got 46% with my B-squad? Just wait until we stymie Congress for four years… I’ll trade in the mentally-unstable shogun for a quick-grinning prince from Massacheusetts… tits and ass we just reconstruct to tickle our female voters.” The pheromones must have been especially noxious at that year’s Bilderberg meeting at the Astir Palace in Greece.

Here we are four years later and I fear the worst…the bell has yet to ring, this never-ending class period extends, faces prinking and posing in the cafeteria windows… notes pass from hands to hearts, stares and staring and more staring, chairs reserved and gossip spread and the loud boys get louder while the cute girls delve another layer of make-up onto their complexions… it’s the same vapid gestures you witnessed at sixteen… except now the rich, popular kids have even more exorbitant amounts of cash (Romney currently has $169 million in hand) and influence and self-righteousness and they don’t have to ask mommy or daddy for permission anymore…

The GOP’s lie is so effective because it is aimless capitalism (Old Jeb’s a millionaire) backed by ancient dogma. The word of God and the wallet of the Holy Spirit…dangerous business. At least in high school you had the option to smoke pot and wear black and tell the kid with his Lacoste emblem to get fucked in the ear…unfortunately the general populous lacks any sort of courage and they will forever worship celebrity, undying and fervent from the back of class. They save up so one day they can buy that expensive cell phone, those to-die-for jeans, that next ‘it’ item that will garnish an invite to the popular table at lunch…except now the trolls chase grown-up emblems of ego assertion… LaJolla beach houses and a couple of Missouri Fox Trots (maybe an Austrian Warmblood to boot) and over $50 million in Bain Capital assets.

Obviously the kids in the back will forever continue their quiet vigil and never make it to the front…whenever frustrations bubble up the popular kids dose them up with things like ‘Pro-Life’ and ‘The Second Amendment’ and ‘One nation under God…’ they relax and remember they’re with the good guys. It’s all part of God’s plan (see: Republicans and rape) and the back-of-classers rest easy because their efforts will be rewarded in heaven… in between their fights for freedom they enjoy rounds of television and are doped like speed-freaks with pictures of pretty things and prettier people and the prettiest promises.

Neurotic and delusional and swinish…what a sweet sixteen it is!

“Nothing is more essential to the establishment of manners in a State than that all persons employed in places of power and trust be men of unexceptionable characters. The public cannot be too curious concerning the character of public men.”

-Samuel Adams


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