Week 5 NFL- Lap after lap, no checkers in sight

Hello you degenerate sidewalk huggers, we’ve made it through another one… it really takes a sun-burning Tuesday afternoon to bring the previous week to an end… forget the half-slutty-mostly-ugly women you flipped tongues between Saturday night on some stick-to-your-heels dancefloor… forget that after a roaring Notre Dame victory under the lights and a 4 out of 5 ATS steamroll last weekend that things could only get worse…

Luckily things came out even to start the Fall, but only thanks to Sunday Night Eagle Magic and a firm belief that Tony Romo’s nuts have yet to drop. Making a living in this corporate slave structure is not easy. Outside of an blatanly obvious NE pick against BUF and a firm notion that SF was going to roll NYJ… the fucking Chiefs make Normal Turner look like a bodhisatva (anyone who lets the Chargers show up in late September, c’mon man)… Tampa Bay looks like fucking Tampa Bay (they were close…close like my hook tooth’d college roommate unpacking a lip in the bar and trying desperately in broken English to make his next score)…and (speaking of less to be desired finishing records) Detroit can’t regain a touchdown for the second half spread against the Vikes??? Overall an awful week on the lines, especially the sharp steals…. and the worst part was I knew it was coming.

Weeks 4-8 usually reek of death and decapitation… cappers are rolling, Vegas has got the media by the balls, the early losers have re-upped and want another shot at glory… bad omens prevailed this weekend, but not into the next. I think the antidote is to ride my feel teams (Eagles, Jets) after hitting both last weekend and switch back across the spread line (PIT covers at home convincingly with big name starters back… HOU doesn’t show up to the Big Apple, maybe squeak a FG win or lose)…I know the antidote is to not make the square play Thursday and take ARZ over a morassing STL…I might even throw a small one on STL just to cash in with Vegas on my first Thursday bet of the season…I’m afraid of BAL and NE, my usual east coast riders, so I might have to shift my eyes south to NO and a record seeking Drew Brees…against bitch boy Philipe Rivers…3 unit play, maybe my pick of October. The Saints, with Sean P in the building, are going to hose Normal Turner’s boys and bring me redemption from last week…

Let the wheels of Vegas karma spin, red and black and don’t take your eyes off the ball.


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